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Years ago I was firmly but lovingly removed from a position I held at work. Though my leadership believed in my future potential as a leader, they felt like I needed to grow personally, and that remaining in my current position would hinder that growth. They gave me no concrete hope for future advancement, but added that they saw a lot of potential in me if I’d be willing to walk the path of growth.

I responded exactly the way my 5 year-old daughter would….only with less maturity.

As I was living my little pity party, I ran across a friend I hadn’t seen in some time. I energetically laid out before him my tale of woe – being careful to chronicle all the wrongs done to me.. He listened patiently, then looked at me and said something akin to , “I’m sorry to hear that, but you now have a great opportunity.”

WHAT????

He continued, “You could continue going through your life the way you always have, being tripped up by the same difficulties. ax-grinding-jigBut the time you’re being given is a gift! Remember, the woodsman never wastes his time when he stops to sharpen his ax.”

Twenty-some years later, I couldn’t be more grateful for my friend’s words. He gave me a great gift….the gift of seeing the futility of pounding the tree of my life with a dull ax. Sure, I could continue to beat away at the trunk with what amounts to a sledge hammer, but I’d leave the stump discouraged and exhausted. With a sharp tool, I can cut through it with effort, but without frustration and discouragement.

Thanks, Rob, for giving me the gift of seeing trials as a growth opportunity and not as punishment.

What’s your story?

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Her name is Luann.

When I first saw her walk into the room, she scared me. Not because she was imposing, or ugly, or dangerous. She scared me because she represented something to me that I often want to avoid. She represented reality…the reality that life is short. And hard.

I was at the fundraiser because I had been asked to emcee the evening. While I was amazed at the strength and vision of those who invited me, I was still secretly hoping to keep my distance from the people this foundation served. It was too painful, and difficult….too real.breast-cancer-ribbonjpg

Then, of course, Luann sat at my table for dinner, and what I found was a delightfully strong woman. A woman full of hope, humor and poise. A woman who, despite her head scarf and weary gate, was beautiful and full of life. Her joyful, gracious, fighting spirit humbled me, and it made me wish I had sought her out before she sat at our table.

During this, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I am so grateful that I had the privilege of getting to know Luann….if only for an evening. The fact that her prognosis is good buoys my spirit, but it’s the memory of her character that inspires me to have hope, and to help those deeply in need of a laugh and a prayer.

I was right….life IS short. And hard. And worth it.

Her name is Luann.

If you’d like more info on groups that do a great job working with cancer patients, check out the links below:

Fairhaven Foundation
St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

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The date was June 20, 1999.

I remember the date clearly because it was my mother-in-law’s birthday celebration, and everyone had gathered (as they always do) at her mother’s farm to honor her. It was also Father’s Day, and oh yeah….the final day of the U.S. Open at Pinehurst.

My wife’s family hails from Springfield, Missouri, and her aunts and uncles went to the same high school as Springfield native Payne Stewart. In fact, my wife’s grandmother and Bea Stewart, Payne’s late mother, were great friends.PS

If you watched the tournament, you may remember that there was another drama unfolding – off the course. Phil Mickelson’s wife, Amy, was due to give birth to their first child that same day, and Phil had already stated that he’d walk off the course if he heard she was in labor. The leaderboard ebbed and flowed, with playing partners Mickelson and Stewart both looking like winners at different times. What a great day it was!

Back on the farm, where 30 or so people crowded around a TV watching their favorite son, the emotions ran high. While there was sentiment for Phil, everyone wanted to see Bea’s boy win his 3rd major championship. They reached the 18th, where Payne ended up with a 25 footer to win. When he drained the putt, the crowd at Pinehurst didn’t have half the energy of the living room at the farm. I think they heard our roar in St. Louis!

While it was exciting to watch my wife’s family go nuts when Payne won, it was even more amazing to me to see Payne’s first words upon winning. He immediately walked over to Phil Mickelson, grabbed his face in his hands, and said, “you’re gonna love being a dad!”

Early in his career, Payne Stewart wasn’t known for being the most gracious guy. But he grew up, and on one of the world’s biggest stages, the character he developed over the years gave all of us something to aspire to.

I miss him.

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When I was a kid, I really enjoyed watching Terry Bradshaw play football. I loved his fearlessness, his rocket-arm, and his fun-loving personality. I even changed the way I held a football to throw more like he did! As I have watched his career post-football, I have also been impressed by his enthusiasm and genuine knowledge of the game.

I have always enjoyed Terry Bradshaw….until yesterday.
Bradshaw
Yesterday, I just happened upon FOX Football’s segment where the participants get to rant on a topic. Bradshaw decided to rant on Brett Favre’s to return to the NFL after deciding to retire. Despite the fact that I am a Viking fan, I was actually against Favre coming back. I remember watching Willie Mays, Johnny Unitas, Joe Namath and Michael Jordan come back with dubious results, and I didn’t want to see that happen to Favre. Still, as he said at the time, “it’s my legacy”….and he had every right to play again.

What bugged me about Bradshaw’s rant, however, was his criticism of Favre for breaking his word. Bradshaw spoke about how heinous it was for Favre to go back on what he said….to go back on his word.

Uh….Mr. Bradshaw? According to public record, you have thrice stood at the altar with a woman and said “’til death do us part”, or something of the sort. Which concerns you more….someone who has a change of heart regarding their employment history, or someone who breaks a vow in front of family and friends regarding their life partner?

I guess I’ll be watching CBS.

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What would I wish for? Hmmmm….. Well, an easy one would be world peace. Another might be a cure for cancer, or food for hungry children. I think I have a better idea….

How ’bout I wish for a useful set of ears?

If I could hear the story of the poor, the pain of the hungry, the desperation of those in war-torn lands, wouldn’t that change how I live? If I shut my mouth and listened to people who disagree with me, instead of writing them off as “stupid” or “evil”, wouldn’t I be more apt to arrive at wiser, more well-rounded conclusions?

The polarization of our culture grieves me. The subtle sounds of compassion, love and justice are being drowned out by voices shouting invective at those who come at life with a different point of view. I don’t agree with everybody, and some views are abhorrent to me. Nevertheless, I’d be wise to remember that even those I disagree with may have something worth considering in their arguments. Proverbs 18:13 states, “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”

World peace, starvation and cancer are complex issues – incredibly important issues. Still, I think I’d be well-served to start with my ears, for when we all begin listening, we may hear just enough to begin coming up with solutions – together.

Thoughts?

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I love it when things go well.

I was flying from San Diego to Indianapolis today when we were informed by our pilot that one of the engines of the plane was overheating. (One of the airline employees said it was on fire!) We quickly diverted to LAX, where we were met by a host of fire trucks and other emergency vehicles. It was quite a show.

While sitting on the tarmac waiting for our instructions, I struck up a conversation with a fellow passenger named Mark. He seemed like a really nice, positive guy. As the conversation progressed, he informed me that he was not only going through a divorce (he and his ex have 3 kids), but that minutes before he got on the plane he was informed that his entire division was laid off.

Family. Job. Gone.

smileWhat I really enjoyed about our conversation, albeit short, was Mark’s positive outlook on the future. While admitting that his life was in a tough place, (he wasn’t delusional), he seemed genuinely ready to confront whatever hurdles he’d be facing with determination and a smile.

It struck me….clichés are clichés because they’re true, and the cliché that life is 90% attitude never seemed more real to me.

Thanks for the attitude adjustment, Mark.

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OK….this one’s a little “stream of consciousness….” Bear with me.

I find the virtual world we live in compelling.

Not because I have a virtual Library of Congress at my fingertips, and not because I can find 50 different recipes for coq au vin. Not because I can easily find others that share my affection for Aprilia sportbikes, and not because I can buy virtually anything I can even imagine online….including a kidney.

It’s compelling because it gives us a glimpse of what’s possible. It connects us to people thinking and doing amazing things, and occasionally it gives me hope that I might accomplish something amazing, too. Not amazing in the sense that someone else would ooo and aah, but amazing in the sense that I could never have imagined it possible.camera

My mother was a talented television broadcaster for many years. (She’s still a talented mom!) I used to accompany her to “the station”, and sat in the director’s booth mesmerized by all that had to happen to get a broadcast to the masses. These people were geniuses, and their expertise seemed inaccessible to me.

Just this week., after listening to some really smart guys I work with dream a little, I decided to create an online live broadcasting site.

It took me less than an hour.

Don’t get me wrong…..content is still king, and my ability to broadcast something doesn’t make me compelling enough to garner an audience. Still, think about it….think about the aspiring filmmaker in Cameroon, or the political theorist in Tajikistan. These folks would never have had the opportunity to share their thoughts with the masses, and now they do.

I think it’s pretty cool. You?

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SoybeanFieldWe live in Fishers, Indiana. We really enjoy living here, but honestly, it’s still a town in search of its identity. We are in the heart of the suburbs, yet we remain surrounded by private farms. It’s pretty cool, though. I love driving 3 blocks from my house and seeing beautiful fields of soybeans and corn….it brings me a sense of peace, I think.

I was driving my son home from the driving range the other day, and for some reason, the uniformity of the fields struck me. Virtually every soybean plant was the same height and consistency, and the corn….well, it looked like the DNA had been cloned a millions times or so.

I pointed this out to my son, and then commented, “it’s no wonder….every stalk and plant was raised in exactly the same environment!” The water, fertilizer and soil makeup these plants grew up in were identical, and the results were consistent with that fact.

It occurred to me that plants, in this case, are not analogous to people. My 4 children grew up in the same house, with the same parents, the same church, in the same schools with, in several cases, the same teachers. Still, my kids have very little similarities….they’re completely different! So it must be “nature”, right??

I was enjoying the brilliance of my observation, when my son astutely pointed out that my “plants”, (my kids), weren’t planted at the same time.

*Sigh*

So I suppose I am back to “both/and”. What do you think?

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arguingI have never liked negative humor, or really, negative talk if any kind. Joan Rivers used to drive me nuts, because she couldn’t seem to be funny without ripping someone else down. That mean-spirited style lives on in talk radio today, and I can’t stand a minute of Rush Limbaugh or Al Franken. In my opinion, you don’t make yourself taller by standing on someone else’s shoulders.

The radio, however, only offends you if you turn it on, and when you do tune in to those programs, you know what to expect.

In this era of social media, where everyone and everything seems to be connected, it’s easy to get ambushed. It amazes me that so many still don’t understand one simple concept….when you write something, it’s likely that someone will read it. And if it’s full of invective, it’s likely to illicit a response more negatively focused on the writer than on the subject. Still, getting “flamed” on the internet hurts…and reading it is always painful, even when it doesn’t involve me.

My good friend Scott Naylor, who used to consult with companies on their IT etiquette, said he constantly had to remind his clients that when they write anything, “there’s a person reading this on the other end!”

If you look around on the internet, you’ll find hundreds of “rules of engagement” on the ‘net. Let’s boil them down to just 2….don’t write anything that you wouldn’t say to that person’s face, and remember the Golden rule. With that, I think we’ll all be good.

Thoughts?

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A few years ago, my friend Dave Fackler shared with me a conversation he’d just had with his then 17 year-old son.

Like most 17 year-olds, his son was experiencing brain-lock, and wasn’t seeing a particular situation clearly. In a moment of clarity I have yet to experience, Dave came up with an idea. “J.D.,” he said, “What would the 27 year-old version of you say to you right now?” Confused yet? What Dave was asking J.D. to do was to project himself into the future and give himself advice!

There are times in our lives where we just can’t seem to get ourselves out of the moment….we become paralyzed by decisions facing us. The future always seems murky, and looking ahead 2 years seems like an eternity. Looking behind two years, however, seems as quick as a wink. What if we could make decisions looking back? After all, isn’t “hindsight 20-20”?

Since Dave shared that story with me, I often try to imagine myself 5 years from now, lamenting what I wish I would have done….then I do it today!

Does that make sense to anyone but me??