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I love Colorado. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate the Indianapolis area, where I live, but I LOVE Colorado. One of the great blessings of my life is that my job takes me to Colorado for an extended time every two years. I have been making this pilgrimage for 28 years now, and it never gets old.

When I was single, the trek was easy. I just packed up and left. As my family grew, however, this trip required some planning…someone had to take care of our house, our yard and our dog.

Several years ago, when my kids were little, we asked an 18 year-old girl if she’d house-sit for us when we ventured west. She was mature for her age, and we knew that she’d take care of the place, and our dog, to the best of her ability. We returned to find the everything in good shape, and generally as we left it.

Or so I thought.

A couple days after returning home, I realized that there was a strange plant growing outside our back door. It wasn’t unusual for us to have a weed or two grow through the cracks of our brick pavers, but this plant looked strange….it had grown large very quickly and had red stems leading to the green leaves. I went to my computer and “googled” the plant, and when I saw the picture of my strange weed and read the description, I couldn’t act fast enough.

Jimson weed. Poison.

The description read: “Symptoms include incoherent speech, impaired coordination; rapid heart beat; and dry, flushed or hot skin. In extreme cases, users can experience seizures, intense visual or auditory hallucinations, or cardiac arrest.” Yikes!

Having small children who put everything in their little mouths, I was horrified. What might have happened had my kids found the plant before I did? I shudder at the thought even today.

The 18 year-old girl who watched this plant grow had no idea what it was. Why should she have considered it harmful to anything, much less my kids? She wasn’t wired to think that way. If I had one of my close friends staying in the house, however, I’m pretty sure they’d have been at least observant enough to know that I wouldn’t want a large nasty weed growing up through my pavers. Perhaps they’d have been a little concerned by the ominous look of that fast-growing weed as well.

Here’s my point….who’s watching your backyard? Do you have friends, close friends, who know you and love you enough to speak freely when they see poisonous plants growing in your backyard? Do you have people who will speak up when they see you jeopardizing your job, your kids or your marriage? Who is is your community that will be honest enough to uproot the poisonous plant that threatens you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

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It wasn’t that I really liked the color purple. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever owned anything purple. Still, when I was 13 years old, my parents let me pick out new shag carpeting for my bedroom.

I couldn’t resist the purple.

Why? Because I lived in a suburb of Minneapolis in an era where the “Purple People Eaters” ruled the gridiron. Was there a better way to honor my beloved Vikings than making my “field” purple?shag

About 15 years later, I moved to Orange County in southern California. I loved the ocean, the crisp morning air, the snow-capped mountains in the winter and the laid-back culture of SoCal. I loved it, but it also became an anesthetic. Don’t get me wrong, I had (and have) GREAT friendships…the kind that last a lifetime. But the longer I lived there, the more disconnected I was from a larger community.

When I moved back to the Midwest, I remember feeling a little claustrophobic. People back here talk to me in the grocery store, and they wear Colts blue every fall Friday. People notice me here, and it’s a lot harder to be invisible.

It was a little weird at first, but I’ve come to enjoy living in a place where we all generally hold some things in common. Like shoveling snow, summer concerts and potholes. Having a larger community has turned out to be a real blessing to my family and me.

As long as I don’t have to put in blue shag……

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You know, when you’re my age, you hear a lot of people complaining about where culture is going. You’ve heard it. “We’ve become far too impersonal.” “Kids are texting all the time….they have no time for “real” relationships.” “All this technology is fine, but people need time face to face to REALLY connect!”

It’s funny….I may have agreed with those comments a few years ago, but I think people’s need for connection has changed my mind on this. They have figured out how to use technology to develop real community. Let me give you an anecdote that illustrates my point.

In 2001, my then 64 year-old mother contracted ARDS. (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) This disease kills 50% of those who contract it within 24 hours of onset. Yikes! It all started with some chest congestion, and before she knew it, she was on life support in an induced coma for 16 days. Gratefully, she has had a full recovery, but it was touch-and-go for several days.

Towards the end of her days in a coma, my father received a phone call in the middle of the night. My dad answered.

“Hello?”

“Hello. Who’s this?” the man on the other end of the phone said.

“Excuse me, who’s this?”

“Is Marcia there?”

“I am her husband. Who IS this?”

[Long pause.]

“My name is Anwar (not his real name), and I live in Cairo, Egypt. For the last couple of years, I have played bridge with your wife online almost every day. I have not seen her for over 2 weeks, and I want to know what is wrong?”

Wow. Remember, my mother was not a teenager, she was 64 years old. And this was in 2001 – 8 years ago!! Many of her friends in close proximity had no idea she was ill, but here was a guy 10,000 miles away who was acutely aware of her absence.

Online community is real. Those of us over the age of 30 may not like it, and we may not understand it, but our kids will not be told how to communicate. If this is how the next generation is going to connect, I think it’s high time we drop our pre-conceived notions and get on board. They still need a few gray hairs in their lives!!