I meet with a group of men every Friday morning. These men are leaders…some of the “movers and shakers” in our community. (If you must know, I invited myself!) I love hearing the hearts of these men…their dreams and hopes and aspirations. I haven’t been involved with them for very long, but the time has became sacred to me.
Last week, the leader of the group asked us to share the time in our lives when we experienced the most freedom. My mind went into hyper-speed. Even with all my synapses firing, desperately seeking even a faint memory of a moment of freedom, I came up empty. It’s not that I feel bound up, it’s just that the pace of my life is so intense that I rarely feel free.
But then I remembered.
It was in my moment of greatest trial that I actually felt the greatest sense of freedom. My oldest son had been diagnosed with cancer, and after spending several weeks deciding on the treatment path, my “part” was completed. I had come to the end of myself and clearly recognized that I could no longer control anything really important. There was nothing more I could do, other than perhaps the most important thing – pray.
I was free.
As the men in that Starbucks shared around our table, each shared a similar exprerience. In their moment of greatest need, of greatest dependence, these world-changing men found freedom.
Funny, isn’t it? We spend our lives running from anything associated with pain, but it’s in pain that we find our greatest freedom and growth. Perhaps James was right when he told us to “consider it pure joy” when we encounter trials.
Something to think about….
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Do you think the freedom you talk about here is like peace, or are they two totally separate ideas/feelings?
Hmmm…good question. I’m not sure I necessarily felt peace in the beginning, but I DO think that I did eventually. It’s strange, I guess…I wasn’t happy, but there was definitely a weight that was lifted when I came to the end of myself.
How about you??