Really?
In this age of “don’t disrespect me!”, I have thought about this statement often. In fact, a few of us were talking about it over lunch the other day.
It’s true there are segments of society that will deny you respect out of hand – especially if you are a woman or an ethnic minority, You’ll never be taken seriously by certain people, and it’s a tragedy. This post is not directed at you.
Most of the time I hear this, however, I feel the way I do when my kids are complaining about some imaginary injustice….like too much homework or bad weather on game days or “I can’t believe I have to try the asparagus!”.
The truth is, most of us get exactly the respect we deserve….we just don’t get the respect we desire. In most situations, people have no motive to withhold from us the respect we long for, unless, of course, we are unworthy of it. For this reason, when I am feeling somehow disrespected, I first try to take a look in the mirror…and I’m often rewarded by staring the real problem right in the face.
Thoughts? Comments? I’d love to hear from you!
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It’s interesting to remember that “don’t dis me” is a double negative, which then actually means the positive – or a plea to please, please respect me. . . .
We don’t like to make the request, maybe because we know deep inside that we have no right to demand respect. Respect is something freely given – if at all. In that sense, none of us deserves respect. . . . But I know what you mean when you say we “get exactly the respect we ‘deserve’.”
Ironically, most of the people I know who are respected don’t think they deserve it. . . . (and I tend not to respect the ones who do).
Great comment, queenie! You’re exactly right….none of us “deserve” respect. Or, perhaps, all of us deserve respect, in that we are all unique and amazing. Hmmm….
It is ironic, however, that those who demand respect are usually the last to get it.
Thanks for weighing in!
You said: “Or, perhaps, all of us deserve respect, in that we are all unique and amazing. Hmmm. . . .”
Really? But if “all” of us “deserve respect” – doesn’t that kind of mean that none of us gets it? I’m thinking that respect is something that sets the respected one apart. Setting everyone apart kind of defeats the purpose.
Then there’s the ‘unique and amazing’ bit. . . . (laughing, here) which, if true, would tend to focus the respect bit onto another Party altogether. Because we have nothing to do with how we found ourselves, do we? Why should I expect to be ‘respected’ for it?
I wonder if the idea of respect is kind of like the idea of love. It’s neither something you can compel or earn. . . . And yet, it’s vital to our existence.
You’re a thinker, queenie!
I guess your post would follow the “if everyone is special then no one is” philosophy. (I think it was Syndrome in “The Incredibles” that comes to mind….=)
I can see that, but I think some things just have inherent value….and my thought is where there is value there should be respect. Perhaps, then, (if it’s not just a matter of semantics), there are several accurate definitions of respect. “Earned” respect, which is divvied out based on our character and performance, and, among others, “fundamental” respect, which we deserve by the endowment of our Creator?
That’s my take….for tonight, anyway! =)